[It's a long while before he manages to get enough control over himself to even speak, and even then, his words are in no way calm, but jagged, sharp-edged, painful things that rip their way out of his throat.]

I can't...I can't take this anymore. Just when I think I've lost everything I could possibly lose...

[He nuzzles further into her neck, trembling just a bit, taking in her warmth like a man dying of thirst takes in a glass of water. He really didn't expect to need this. Or, more accurately, he hadn't wanted to need this. He wanted to just put up a wall and keep his suffering private.

That didn't work and he just found himself feeling terribly alone, with only himself to blame.]

I don't want to lose anymore. Why can't I keep anything? Why does everything that keeps me going fall apart?